Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters
My 2 Daughters My 2 Best Friends


When Heroin addiction enters a family by the time you know it's there it's like your living in a dream. This can't be happening to my family not my child. Then you think how did I not see this coming how did I miss the warning signs. All of a sudden your dealing with a child that is no longer like your own but like a child someone else raised because there is no way this child could be yours.

Well wake up it is yours and know you have to face a whole new set of problems. It's no longer lets nurture this child and raise them to adulthood. It is know let's raise this child to be healthy and to live. Did I say live yes I did. Parents of children who are addicts worry every day if their child will live to see another day.

Between the unsafe drugs on the streets and the neighborhoods they go into to get the drugs and the people they hang with their everyday life is unsafe. When I go to bed at night I don't dream good dreams I have night terrors of my daughter being shot or overdosing or ending up in jail. How did my beautiful bright young daughter end up here. It took me along time to say to myself my daughter is a Heroin Addict and it still makes me ill to think or say that but it is true and if I am going to try to help her I have to realize I am dealing with a drug addict not my daughter.

As I look back and think when did the changes start taking place I can now see some of them. It's not like she was getting in trouble or sneaking out but her behavior was erratic. She would fly off the handle and yell and scream. She would say nasty stuff to me and call me names but I just contributed it to a bad break up with a guy I couldn't stand and the stress of it all.

My daughter doesn't want to be the person she has become and I know this but its a vicious cycle of on drugs and off drugs and I just want my daughter back. She has lied to me stole from me and it hurts but she is my daughter and I love her. I know realize I can't enable her because when I do It just makes her worse. I have to learn that most of the things she tell me are lies to get money or to cover up her problems.

I have to learn how to wisely help my daughter navigate this awful time in her life and in our life. I have to do it with love and strength and with tough love. My hope and prayer is my daughter will get serious about getting and staying clean and will become healthy and productive and live a long happy life.

On August 20th my daughters life came crashing down no money no hope caught and at the end of her rope she turned to her family for help she wanted to change her life and stop the drugs. On August 23rd we took her to an intensive out patient program called assisted recovery as of today our daughter has been detoxing and is 5 days drug free she tells me this is the first time in 2 years she has went any day without heroine.

We are living each day as if  it is the start of a new life for all of us we have alot to work on as there are alot of trust issues. I believe my daughter was just at the point of crossing a line of maybe crime or theft to get her drug since the money had run out and everyone was catching on to her deceit and lies she had already crossed the line of snorting to shooting something she said she would never do but I have been told it always leads to that. During this process we have had to try to learn to re parent it seems like we are parenting a 15 year old instead of one who is 22 which irritates her I'm sure but as I tell her it is what it is and we all have to work together to learn to cope with this in order for all of us to become healthy and productive. If you or someone you know has drug or alcohol problems talk to these people they are kind caring and dedicated to their profession.